Restoring Relations, Celebrating Joy, Protecting Children

Every parent has their own unique character in educating and nurturing their children. However, parenting also experiences a snowball effect. The parenting a child experiences will be reflected when that child becomes a parent in the future. It could be said that parenting style is also passed down from generation to generation. Therefore, it is important for every parent to be able to re-examine the relationship between themselves and their parents, in order to provide the best possible care for their children. 

This has also become a highlight in the Parenting with Love (PDC) training that Wahana Visi Indonesia has implemented in one of its assisted districts, namely, Kubu Raya Regency in West Kalimantan. Santika, 34 years old, a PDC participant with an Islamic religious context, recounted, "Before I knew PDC, in my family the parenting style still used violence, such as, scaring children with a broom stick to be hit and still hitting children." 

Deviana, a PDC participant with a Christian religious context, also had the same parenting experience. "I still use anger when caring for children, even using violence, such as pinching, hitting and pulling children's ears," said this 33-year-old mother. 

One of the root problems of parenting lies in the childhood of a father and mother. Santika and Deviana experienced parenting that was not full of affection as children. What they experienced as children who lacked affection eventually had an impact on their children today. In fact, it is important for a child to feel sufficient and sincere love from both parents. This will even affect their cognitive and emotional intelligence in the future. 

PDC training usually begins with a relationship recovery session. The fathers and mothers involved try to make peace with the past. This step is very important so that parents are no longer trapped by their bad past and are ready to change their current parenting style. A changed heart will be more ready to be planted with good seeds. 

"After participating in PDC, I became more aware that advising children accompanied by violence is not a good attitude in parenting. Now I can control my emotions and pay more attention to my children, prioritising love. When advising children, it is more accompanied by loving touch and thank God the children now understand more quickly what I am saying," Santika recounted. 

Not only has parenting changed, after participating in PDC, several participants have also experienced spiritual and social growth. As Deviana stated, "After participating in PDC, my relationship with God was restored and became better. Previously, I very rarely went to Church and even rarely prayed. But now I have started to actively go to Church, worship together in the community," said Deviana, who initially closed herself off from her surroundings, is now more open. She actually feels supported by other mothers because they share challenges in parenting children. From now on, Deviana is also committed to not using violence again in caring for children. 

Author: Sibedius Hardiyanto (Field Facilitator from YGPB, WVI’s partner in Kubu Raya) 

Editor: Mariana Kurniawati (Communication Executive)